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  • Obligatory, (somewhat*) kid-friendly version of letting it go.

    But in all practicality, this song works on the same level. Let go of how others perceive you to be and simply be yourself. It is a good message.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

    * A prince from a neighbouring kingdom is trying to kill and overthrow the established monarchy. Not sure how kid-friendly that really is.

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  • Don't forget music! Good music can have a very calming influence. I avoid "angry music", like many metal styles, when I'm feeling stressed or upset because it just fuels the aggravation, but other types of music can help me "power through" the tough stuff and get it done while keeping calm.

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  • Sanity???

    • "I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
      • Poe
    • I do not suffer from insanity, I relish every moment of it!
      • Multiple references
    • Sometimes I wrestle with my demons.  Sometimes we just cuddle
      • Unknown
    • “Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?” 
      • Despair.com
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  • jameswalker20 wrote:

    Sanity???

    • "I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
      • Poe
    • I do not suffer from insanity, I relish every moment of it!
      • Multiple references
    • Sometimes I wrestle with my demons.  Sometimes we just cuddle
      • Unknown
    • “Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?” 
      • Despair.com


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  • MAINSTRIKE wrote:

    Obligatory, (somewhat*) kid-friendly version of letting it go.

    But in all practicality, this song works on the same level. Let go of how others perceive you to be and simply be yourself. It is a good message.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

    * A prince from a neighbouring kingdom is trying to kill and overthrow the established monarchy. Not sure how kid-friendly that really is.

    And now, that song is stuck in my head... further adding to stress.  LOL

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  • I find things things stick to me like velcro, and have a hard time just letting things like. 

    My son was old enough I bypassed the whole "Frozen" wave. This is a much better song with it's touch of Caribbean music feel

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT40S2qRjWE 

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  • A famous friend once told us all: 
    "In every life we have some trouble. But when you worry you make it double. Don't worry, be happy!"
    -  Bobby McFerrin 

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  • Sometimes we need a process to "let it Go". I find journaling and working through it with a friend can really help. Journaling helps to remember events more deeply. A friend is a non-partial third party that can help you sort through the reality of what you're trying to let go.

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  • I think I "popped" a few months ago. I don't really have any stressors right now, except for my daily commute. I don't have to let it go, these days because nothing really sticks emotionally. Not sure it's the best place to be but for the most part, I don't care.

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  • I was in year 11 of full time vocational ministry and could not figure out what my problem was until I began seeing so many people feeling what they described as "burnout."  I wrestled with everything for another year, then realized I just couldn't do it anymore.  Ended up taking a sabbatical for 6 months; when the smoke cleared from my decision to leave what I had believed was a "calling," I sought out the only other thing I knew a little bit about - IT.  I have been at my current position around 2-3 months, and it is night and day different.  Some of us start out thinking we need our career to fulfill us, for it to be meaningful and impactful, to "change the world."  So much so that your identity gets wrapped up in what you're doing so that when you inevitably suck at something or make mistakes, you're sucking at your identity and making identity mistakes.  It burns you out.  I got involved in IT because I have a technical mind, but also because when I leave for the day, none of it matters and all that work I did gets to stay there.  I am able to keep my personal life completely separate from my work now, whereas before the two were completely intertwined.

    I think some of us who are struggling with what to let go of need to let go of those two things: that your work needs to matter, and that you need to think about or do that work when you leave for the day.  When I head home and eventually get there and realize that what I did today doesn't really matter as much as what I'm doing outside of work, I feel the stress roll off.  For me, it's spending time with my wife and my dog.  Taking the canoe out on adventures, going fishing, binging Star Wars shows, playing videos games for 6 hours straight.  While your work is important at work, as soon as you cross the threshold of your home it should no longer be.  What is most important then is what you choose to make important.  Are you allowing work to choose, or are you choosing?  If you feel like you can't leave work at work, maybe it's time to find a new job.  Also.... maybe some of us here are pioneering the IT industry; but that's not me, and I would go so far as to say that's not most of us.  We're dealing with the end users who will never stop clicking on phishing email links causing security threats to our carefully crafted networks, rebooting that problematic server for the 3rd time this week that we just don't have the budget to replace, or tightening down that network that previous staff left in disarray.  Yes; all of that work matters while you're there, and you are making a difference by doing it - but at the same time, when you get off work and you are home or doing what you want to do, it just doesn't matter anymore and that is a good thing maybe even a necessary thing!

    I told my new coworkers I've never lived for the weekend more than I have at this current job and their first response was, "man, is it that bad?"  No!  My previous 12 years of work.... all of my weekly work time was spent prepping for one big work day on the weekend and/or midweek - Sunday and Wednesday.  Once I explained that, they laughed and understood.  Now, my work still matters, but not more than my personal down time and rest.

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  • thank you for this.

    I have been studying Buddhism and meditation for the past few years to try to get myself into a better headspace.  Letting go isn't always easy, but I'm finding ways to navigate through the tough bits.  Using "play" as you put it, to build up my defenses against the bs

    I am learning to consciously focus on positives and catch negative thoughts before they get out of control.

    I'm also learning to MAKE time for play.  One of my biggest passions is art and I'm happy to say that my "play" has turned into a charity fundraiser that has touched countless lives.  I recently painted this chair for the Atlantic City Arts Foundation and it will be featured on the boardwalk for millions of tourists to see. 

    I may not be 100% yet, but I think I'm doing it right ;)


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  • I've mentioned both of these before on SW, but it seems fitting to post them again here...

    When I was in College, at during my first "finals" week, I encountered (and noticed) how extreme stress manifests itself in me (my personality changes, I become super giddy and practically stop caring about pretty much anything). Working through it I discovered that one of my personal, most effective, cures for any bad mood, extreme stress, etc, is by doing random acts of kindness for others. Putting a smile on another person's face simply makes me feel better, no matter what my mood is like or what I'm dealing with.

    At my current job we do a weekly "staff praise" where we submit short (or long) statements praising our coworkers for things we've seen each other do. Such as something they did above and beyond their normal job, or the successful outcome of a project they finished.

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  • cperkins22 wrote:

    Yes; all of that work matters while you're there, and you are making a difference by doing it - but at the same time, when you get off work and you are home or doing what you want to do, it just doesn't matter anymore and that is a good thing maybe even a necessary thing!

    True, work makes a big part of a person's life but it should be part of your life, not taking over. Many people work to make money to be able to afford other things. If you can't enjoy a vacation or camping trip because you are worried if work can reach you, time to prioritize. 

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  • When I see volunteers doing some work and committing various errors repeatedly due to their limitations, I see two types of volunteers where I feel seldom need to intervene. And this makes the situations much less stressful for all stakeholders, including those getting served. One type of volunteers have plenty of love and respect and this comes through despite their mistakes so in not resulting in a decrease of situations and acceptance by the served people. (But love without respect could cause damage and respect without love would not be sufficient for acceptance.) The other type of volunteers is garnishing their volunteer (and professional) work with humor. And laughing together may let leave much of stress. There even exist laughing therapies in medicine.

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  • First, one thing I have seen over time get worse at causing stress, agitation, and inability to let things go, has been media today. Media has increasingly become sensationalist and polarizing, while also becoming better at grabbing our neurons by making use of modern brain and psychiatric research (for sometimes scary purposes). It's spilling over a lot  into people's daily lives. I think it affects technical minded people like IT people in particular because we are geared towards problem solving, but how do you solve problems that are either 1) not the right problems, 2) not really problems but made up problems, or 3) problems not meant to be solved, but just to keep capturing attention? Making an effort to disconnect from media from time to time might have some surprising effects at reducing stress.

    Second, don't wait too long if you can't figure out how to decrease your stress and negative emotions without seeking help. Because sometimes what we think is the problem is not really the problem, or the question we're asking is not really the right question, because as technically minded as IT people are, we're still human.

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  • Ecrawf099 wrote:

    MAINSTRIKE wrote:

    Obligatory, (somewhat*) kid-friendly version of letting it go.

    But in all practicality, this song works on the same level. Let go of how others perceive you to be and simply be yourself. It is a good message.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

    * A prince from a neighbouring kingdom is trying to kill and overthrow the established monarchy. Not sure how kid-friendly that really is.

    And now, that song is stuck in my head... further adding to stress.  LOL

    You too?! 

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